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Monthly Archives: May 2018

Tips Parents Giving Advice to Teenager

The short answer to this question is don’t. Now at first glance this probably sounds ridiculous, after all parents have more experience of life and most would agree that a parent’s job is to pass this experience onto their children. But the problem with giving advice is that it’s really just a way of maintaining control. We often cover it up by saying we know what’s best in the situation, we have the experience and knowledge, but in reality what we’re saying is what we want to happen, this is what we want you to do.

Adolescence is a time for learning to self-manage, to take responsibility for yourself and your actions. It’s an essential process if your teen is to become a well-adjusted, fully functioning adult ready for the world at large and a fundamental part of the process is handing over control to your teen.

For most parents this is a really scary thought. They’re concerned about what will happen if they do, that if they give up some control it will mean they lose all control. They’re concerned about what their teen will do or what happens if they get it wrong, in other words they feel a need to protect their teen.

Handing over control at this stage is more about handing over responsibility and accountability on how to do something, not handing over total control. It’s about letting your teen have an involvement in how to solve a particular problem, it’s about teaching them problem solving skills. If you always provide the solution how will they ever learn to do it for themselves?

It’s ok for your teen to get it “wrong”, to make mistakes. You’re teaching them how to self-correct, just as they did when they first learned to ride a bike and kept falling off. Making mistakes is a natural part of the learning process; more learning comes from making mistakes than comes from getting it “right”. How much does it really matter if they don’t get it right first time or choose the best alternative?

Finally, is your solution the best? It’s easy to forget that our children think differently than us when thinking about a solution to a problem. The solution may be the best one for you, but is it the best one for your teen?

Giving advice by telling teens what to do is only one way of passing on a parent’s knowledge, there are other ways of achieving the same outcome and with a higher likelihood of success. it’s how you pass on that experience that makes the difference.

Below are some suggestions on how to get your point across:

1. Ask before you give. Always ask your teen if they want your advice before you start to give it. If they say, “yes please” then go ahead and have your say, if they say “no” respect their decision and keep quiet.

2. Question their intent. If your teen has refused advice , ask them specific questions about how they’re going to handle the situation. Asking questions about smaller parts of the problem is a way to at least get your teen to think about what’s involved.

3. Provide information instead. Directing your teen to a source of information that’s neutral allows your teen access to information without having to agree to your point of view.

4. Give your teen time. Just because your teen hasn’t given you an immediate answer to your question doesn’t mean they’re ignoring it. Give them time to go away and think about the answers.

5. Highlight their qualities. Reminding teens of their strengths will focus their minds on choosing options that make the best of them. Focus on their weaknesses and they’re likely to lose confidence in doing anything.

6. Listen to your teen. Often just listening to your teen without interrupting will show you that you don’t even need to give advice; your teen already has a solution.

Different Parenting Styles to Ensure Proper Child Development

Women who are trying to get pregnant often have lots of pregnancy questions. They read lots of books about baby development and medical literatures that discuss pregnancy week by week development. Unfortunately, most couples tend to neglect issues about parenting styles. If you are expecting a baby, then it is very important to have a clear understanding of the different styles of parenting. The way you raise your baby has a great impact on his or her overall emotional and mental development.

As a future parent, you have a responsibility to nurture the baby inside your womb. You have to take note that the first trimester of baby development is very critical. At this stage, the survival of the fetus is not yet guaranteed. So once you confirmed that you are pregnant, you have to immediately consult your doctor to clarify whatever pregnancy questions you have. Your doctor will also give you a quick overview of pregnancy week by week development. Based on the information that you can get, you will be able to understand how to take care of the growing fetus. Of course, your doctor will also give you competent professional advice about dieting, pregnancy exercise, and the right pregnancy supplements. You have to seriously follow the advices of your doctor to ensure proper baby development.

You may not notice it but your first actions during the early stages of baby development are already part of your responsibilities as a parent. The mere fact that you are getting the best medical care indicates that you are taking parenthood seriously. However, knowing the basic pregnancy questions and child development is not enough to become a good mother. You also need to educate yourself about the right parenting styles. Parenting issues are more complex and require a significant departure from your usual norms and behaviors. To completely understand several parenting issues, you should carefully study the different parenting styles as defined by authoritative development psychologists.

There are three known styles of parenting. First, there is the so-called authoritarian parenting method. The authoritarian parent demands and expects so much from the child. Strict discipline is usually the norm of authoritarians. This style is seldom responsive to the child’s individual preferences. The second parenting method is authoritative-responsive. This parenting style balances strict authoritarianism with responsiveness. It is usually practiced by parents who have experienced the ill-effects of absolute parenting. The most commonly practiced parenting method in modern society is permissive-indulging. Permissive parents allow full development based on the children’s individual preferences. Permissiveness is highly acceptable in today’s society. However, extreme permissiveness may spoil the child thus undermining his or her proper psychological development.

You have to understand the different parenting styles in order to learn how to properly raise your children. As early as the first trimester of your pregnancy, you should decide which type of parenting method to adopt. Remember, the overall development of your child will greatly hedge on the way you raise him or her. Make sure that you have a clear understanding of proper parenting in order to ensure a balanced baby development.

Ways Become a More Successful Single Parent

Professionals are there for the purpose of helping you or your child, so don’t be afraid to ask for help It can be hard for all who are involved, when divorce or even death is the reason for becoming a single parent. How the children are coping with the situation should always be a concern, especially if becoming a single parent was recent. When your child starts having problems at school, or changing while at home, it then might be the time for counseling. You can’t overlook your own needs in this area, either. Quite often you will need more than the help of your friends or your family. With help from a good counselor, transitioning to a single life with your child can go smoother for both of you. As you become a single parent, changing careers may be necessary. For the first time, you may need a true career. There are certain jobs that are more practical and convenient for single parents than others. When you kids get home at 3 from school, an average 9 to 5 job may not fit your needs. Think about jobs in the medical profession such as nursing as they¬†often have flexible hours. Working from home with a job such as online marketing, web design, writing or graphics is also an option. As a single parent, you need a job where your schedule can be flexible and provides a steady income source.

As a single parent, entering a relationship with a new person can be difficult. It can be unclear when or if you should introduce your child to this new person. The most appropriate rule of thumb says that your child should not meet people you have just started dating. Problems can come up including your child being upset if the person isn’t a presence in their life for an extended period of time. Introduce your child slowly to those your are in a serious relationship only. Obviously, if someone is going to form a new family with you, then they’ll have to be good with your kids as well.

Though it doesn’t make it any easier to handle, being a single parent nowadays is not an uncommon situation. A positive attitude is key and will help you to deal with everyday challenges. The things we have talked about should help you handle your single parent life. On top of everything, feel free to ask for assistance.